The Ugly Truth

When I was young I was a little chubby (maybe a lot chubby).  As I got older, I was always really small; I wanted nothing more than to gain weight. It was all I could think about. I can remember one summer my cousin and I ate sandwiches, ice cream and cookies all summer long trying to put on weight...and nothing seemed to work.  For years all I wanted was to be shaped more like a grown woman and not have breast like a fat boy (in the words of my sister).   I felt inadequate because of my size. As time went on, I began to gain a little weight and lets just say…my cup started to runneth over (LOL, my bra cup that is).  This gave me more confidence and helped me deal with the whole ‘she’s cute for a dark girl’ thing.

My weight has always fluctuated, but over the years I continued to gain weight without really noticing it.  One day I actually looked at myself and my body had completely transformed in front of my eyes without me even noticing it.  Things that were at one time firm, were suddenly... umm, not so firm. For some reason, it was as if I was looking at myself for the first time in a long time and I didn’t like what I saw.  What I once wanted so badly, was the same thing that made me sad.  It was very hard for me once I realized the size I had become. I wondered how long I looked that way, why didn’t anyone tell me and why hadn’t I realized it earlier?  My appearance started having a very negative affect on my attitude, but it still wasn’t enough to motivate me to lose the weight…go figure, right? People would say “If you’re so unhappy with your weight do something about it” or “when your tired of looking like that, you’ll make a change” my favorite was “once you start doing it you’ll feel so much better”!!!  FYI: NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ANY OF THIS! If you didn’t politely tell me “girl your starting to put on weight you better watch yourself” don’t come after the damage has been done with your bright ideas. Truth is, yes, I was tired of looking the way I did…but I still ate more (because good food makes me happy)! Yes, I was unhappy with my weight but a nice bubble dress or something that started to flare in the midsection would make me look and feel much better than a workout! AND Working out does not make me feel better, it has not become a lifestyle and I don’t miss it! Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest…back to the spirit LOL

Those of you that know me already know about my peculiar eating habits, and they won’t get me very far.  I’m getting older and I decided that it was time that I compensate for my eating habits. The last few years of my life has been a journey about learning who I am, what I love, what I like and what I want. I decided that I was ready for a healthier way of living inside and out. I decided that it was time for the person on the outside to meet the person on the inside and for them both to coincide with my bubbly personality.

I did not decide to lose weight and get in better shape until something within me changed.  It was a motivating force within that energized my entire being and made me strive to be better. So today, the fierce woman inside of me is screaming: Evaluate your life, Decide what makes YOU happy! Decide what self-image YOU want to portray and do it with PRIDE!  There is NO motivational speech, picture of a model or success story that will give you the motivation you need... It starts with YOU!

ONLY YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CONTROL YOUR ACTIONS!

ONLY YOU CAN JUMPSTART YOUR WEIGHT LOSS JOURNEY!

If you don’t love yourself how you are, work on yourself to achieve how you want to be!

If you are comfortable in the skin you're in, don't let anyone else's opinion alter how Fierce you Feel!

IT STARTS WITH YOU... THE APPROVAL, THE DENIAL, THE BEAUTY!!

Confidence is the Greatest Accessory of All!

Until Next Time…