My Confession

Its time I stop doing things my way and take heed to the divine signs

The last thing I want to happen, is for my spiritual eyes to go blind.

I’m going to stop taking my destiny, into my own hands

Start taking the less traveled road and do my best to withstand..

Withstand from daily sin and realize that everyone sometimes fall

But stop using that as an excuse, to refrain from the call…

The call on my life, that I keep trying to ignore

When I know that I’m blessed and its me that God adores

Adores more than some, I realize I’m blessed and highly favored you see

And I’m ready to be God’s soldier and try to be all that he has me to be

I tried to make my own agenda but God had something else planned for me.

I wanted to choose my own path, But my divine journey is far beyond what I can see

My Internal Battle

"Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew the right spirit in me."

　

Is a scripture from Psalms that comes to mind when I think about my life, how far I’ve come and where I’m headed.　Personally, this scripture signifies a cry for help for cleansing of the heart/mind… meaning to be purged of all evil thoughts, wrongdoings and past bad experiences. Renewing a right spirit means to gain a less judgmental, more positive personal outlook on life.

Lately, I’ve been finding myself in a battle against my natural being and my spiritual being.　When I say my natural being I’m referring to the person I’ve become as a result of the obstacles I have faced in life.　When I reference my spiritual being I’m referring to the person that I can be if I allow God to have dominion over my life.

"In order to fulfill your God ordained journey in life, you must release the familiar and enter the unfamiliar. You must leap out on faith and believe that he is real and he will see you through"

When I heard this I instantly thought of the feelings that I have been harboring internally.　The internal struggle of my natural being fighting to remain the strong, independent outspoken person I have become; and my spiritual being announcing it’s desire to leap out on faith and begin the journey that will lead to the divine destiny that God has ordained for me.

I texted 2 of my close friends and I expressed my internal struggle by sending　"God is really trying to prepare me for the next stage of my life and I keep fighting back because I’m scared." Their understanding of what I meant by next level was refreshing and allowed me to know that I was in the midst of people who shared my knowledge of the word and God’s calling on people’s lives.　Their assurance that I was not the only one that has dealt with this type of internal battle with natural versus spiritual was more than I could have hope for. Their responses were:

The next stage is "a scary thing, because we like to know in detail the entire process & God wants us to trust Him.　Sometimes the next level seems so big but God is bigger! God has a better plan for us than we can ever have for ourselves.　God’s plan for you will not involve losing yourself but it will involve finding yourself. Finding the you that he designed you to be" said Jovan. She expressed her views with such conviction that it was if her words found a way to entire not only into my mind but also into my heart.　I felt every word that she sent to me.

　

"Faith is believing with out seeing, trusting and knowing he won’t lead us down the wrong path…fear is natural" said Laurey. She probably didn’t realize it at the time, but that was exactly what I needed to hear.　The breakdown of faith is what I lost sight of.

　

Their words of encouragement were exactly what I needed. I now know that it is time for me to begin the journey to my divine destiny.　I feel that once I completely removed the anger, pain and disappointment from my heart and mind I will be able to easily live my life without this inward battle.　When I truly release the demons and disappointments of my past, I will be able to live "spiritually strong, knowledgably blessed and submissively loved" and all of these thing will be directed by God, which will alleviate my battle and bring me to a different level of awareness.　　

The Value of Wisdom: Proverbs 2

One thing I’ve learned over the years is that many people interpret the same situation multiple ways…and this doesn’t necessarily mean that some people are right and others are wrong.  It just means that it’s their PERSONAL perception so it may not be the same view as the masses.  The same thing can be said for a sermon or a bible scripture.   

As I continue to feed my spiritual self, I think my physical being will benefit as well…whether it be from condemnation or awareness .  Below is the reading for December 2, 2011.

Proverbs 2

English Standard Version (ESV)

Proverbs 2

The Value of Wisdom

 ¹ My son, if you receive my words
   and treasure up my commandments with you,
²making your ear attentive to wisdom
   and inclining your heart to understanding;
³yes, if you call out for insight
   and raise your voice for understanding,
⁴if you seek it like silver
   and search for it as for hidden treasures,
⁵then you will understand the fear of the LORD
   and find the knowledge of God.
⁶For the LORD gives wisdom;
   from his mouth come knowledge and understanding;
⁷he stores up sound wisdom for the upright;
   he is a shield to those who walk in integrity,
⁸guarding the paths of justice
   and watching over the way of his saints.
⁹ Then you will understand righteousness and justice
   and equity, every good path;
¹⁰for wisdom will come into your heart,
   and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul;
¹¹ discretion will watch over you,
   understanding will guard you,
¹²delivering you from the way of evil,
   from men of perverted speech,
¹³who forsake the paths of uprightness
   to walk in the ways of darkness,
¹⁴who rejoice in doing evil
   and delight in the perverseness of evil,
¹⁵men whose paths are crooked,
    and who are devious in their ways. ¹⁶So you will be delivered from the forbidden^[a] woman,
   from the adulteress^[b] with her smooth words,
¹⁷who forsakes the companion of her youth
   and forgets the covenant of her God;
¹⁸ for her house sinks down to death,
   and her paths to the departed;^[c]
19none who go to her come back,
   nor do they regain the paths of life.
 ²⁰So you will walk in the way of the good
   and keep to the paths of the righteous.
²¹For the upright will inhabit the land,
   and those with integrity will remain in it,
²²but the wicked will be cut off from the land,
   and the treacherous will be rooted out of it.

Thy Will Be Done

Today as I was going with my normal work day, I had a ticket to work…as I resolved the computer problem, I found myself being much more open than I am with other people. I began talking to Mrs. Sandra  and sharing some things with her and she told me to start reading proverbs. She explained how there are enough chapters in proverbs for me to read a chapter a day and I will find that the more I read the more things will start being revealed to me. She even said that I’ll probably see a lot of sayings that my parents used. She’s going to be retiring in a few weeks so she gave me her card that reads "Lord help me remember that nothing is going to happen to me today that You and I together cant handle" When I left her desk I had to give her a hug..she probably has no idea what she has done for me but I believe that God used her as a vessel this morning.

My prayer lately has been for guidance from God and the ability to follow through with what it is he’s leading me to and through. I’m saying all of this to say that I’m looking forward to my readings of proverbs. Sometimes you may not understand what is happening in your life, but God is always in control. If you just allow him to lead you, there’s no telling where you may end. She told me to read the English Translation because it would be easier to understand and I did just that…lo and behold the second verse jumped off the page and immediately got my attention Proverbs 1:2-4 To learn wisdom and moral instruction, and to discern wise counsel. To receive moral instruction in skillful living, in righteousness, justice and equity. Verse 5 went on to say ‘Let the wise also hear and gain instruction, and let the discerning acquire guidance!’

After reading this I knew that this was definitely a message sent to me from God! Who knows…this may be the 1^st step that will lead me to my rightful destination…and it may be the final…I’m excited to find out either way!

I’m still a work in progress, but I’m sooo excited to be one step closer!!

So join me this month in my quest to read a chapter a day. Until next time!

Jack of all Trades, Master of None

I received an email today that read "God created us and therefore we are special, unique, and we have a purpose in life and an important reason for being here." As I read the email I couldn’t help but think what is my purpose?? I use to always say that "Everyone needs a purpose, and if you have no purpose in my life than you are no good for me." I meant every word of it…but now that I’m older I have a different take on everything. In the past I was so busy making sure that I only surrounded myself with people that had a purpose for me I lost sight of myself and fulfilling my role while here.

　

I use to feel that I haven’t found my niche. You know the saying ‘Jack of all Trades, Master of None’…I think they were thinking of me when they coined this phrase. I have until yet to find that one thing that separates me from the rest, the one thing that I excel at and enjoy doing. So, I always asked myself, where do I go from here? Do I try to perfect all trades or do I pick one and master it?? If I choose the wrong one will it alter my divine destiny because I’m not following his will for my life?

　

I no longer feel this way. I think that my 23 personalities are what make me special. I feel that my niche is being a jack of many trades and maybe it just wasn’t in the cards for me to excel at one thing. So I’ve learned to just sit back, live my life trying new things, broadening my horizons which in return takes my visions to higher heights. I believe that each day I’m alive God’s will is unfolding more and more in my life but I have to learn to be patient. Because I believe that peace can only be found within patience. And when I’m finally able to reach the level of peace through patience, then and only then, will I be able to hear God’s voice and be able to listen to the best path to reach my divine destiny.

　

So today I ask, what is your niche?

Figure it Out!!

I don’t want to lose myself in love

I want to become one with love and gain multiple perspectives on life!

I don’t want to get caught up in what society thinks

I want to uphold the values that I was taught and the life lessons I’ve learned along the way!

I don’t want to take on some one else’s opinion

I want to know who I am, except it and perfect it!

I don’t want to follow the next man’s dream

I want to have my own vision, have faith that it’s obtainable but also realize fame isn’t for everyone!

My point is, I know who I am, I know where I’ve been and I have no idea where I’m headed, but that’s okay with me. Because I know that through whatever trials I may face from this day forward, I’m doing it with my head held high, God on my side and faith that everything will work out in my favor. I try my best to live my life in a way that is pleasing to me…when I say this I don’t mean that no on else matters, I’m saying that I never forget that I am the one that has to live with the decisions I make so I try to make them count. I fall short many times because I'm human but it doesn't mean that the intentions of my heart have changed.

If tonight was your last, what would you do?

What and who are you thankful for?

If you left this life without writing an autobiography what would your book read?

Figure out who you are, let go of who you were, learn to love and appreciate what you have at this very moment! And have faith that the future will work itself out when it becomes the present! Things happen too fast and circumstances change in the twinkling of an eye so make sure to make the best of the time you have left on earth.

Happy Thanksgiving and don’t forget to Give Thanks!!

Introduction to Your Victory

I know all the things that people say about my pastor but he always gives me exactly what I need to continue my walk her on earth with my head held high and my dignity in tact. His sermon today meant a lot to me so I decided to share a synopsis of his sermon. 

Today pastor talked about ‘How to live for God, How to have Rest, How to apply faith and How the Holy Spirit Works.’  He explained that the only way to prevent sin from having dominion over you is to stay strong and grow in the lord and live according to his word.  He made it clear that simply knowing the word does not get you into heaven “Heaven is not an Automatic Truth!”  You have to protect your heart, your soul and your body from working by feelings…because feelings are easily tied to sin.  Without righteous morals we will live like heathens…and morals can only come from the fear of God.

My pastor has this uncanny way of preaching about whatever it is I may be going through at any given Sunday.  It's as if he peeks into my life…sees my past, predicts my future and tries to stop me from doing anything that will deter me from the path of righteousness. 

The thing that stood out the most to me today was when Pastor was talking about how sometimes we are so busy trying to tell people the right things to do, that we are perceived in a way that’s not like God.  Not because we don’t mean well, but because these people are unevenly yoked so they do not understand our perspective of things.  Sometimes people have a tendency to overlook your heart and not understand that you’re coming from a place of love.

“When your test is at its worse, just sit down! No running around, fussing, cussing and crying”

“Don’t allow your feelings to dictate your faith”

“Don’t allow anything or anyone to contaminate your Faith!”

“Stay plugged into the word, to prevent the devil from plugging in to you!”

What Kind of Friend are You?

I am one of the most stubborn people you’ll ever meet. I speak on things with great passion and I’m very adamant about what I believe to be true. I get loud and sometimes overbearing when trying to make my point. I don’t mean to be this way; it has just become a part of who I am over the years. Being opinionated and strong willed isn’t something that everyone can handle. There are some people that don’t like when someone else’s views don’t coincide with their personal thoughts. I, on the other hand, don’t have a problem agreeing to disagree.

People claim to be "real" and "love realness", but the truth of the matter is, most people don’t want to hear the truth. They want someone to agree with their thoughts and build them up even if they’re wrong and their way of thinking is warped. Personally, I’m not that type of friend, if you ask me a question, I’ll give you my honest answer and feeling on the subject. I will try my best to be mindful of your feelings, but I wont pacify the truth, and I would expect the same in return.

Everyone wants people in their lives for different reasons…to make them look better, feel better and even do better. Personally, I have no problem building another person up, sharing the spotlight or even stepping aside and allowing others to shine. And in the midst I can genuinely be happy for others and their accomplishments. But everyone doesn’t possess this quality.

So often, good people get mixed up with people with bad intentions, and instead of the good rubbing off on the bad it’s usually the other way around. Bad seeds are easily planted and will manifest in your life with great force if you allow it. Don’t allow the ill intentions of others to be the motivating force that makes you change who you are.

So my question to you is… What kind of friend are You? And, What kind do you want? Be the friend that you want to attract, and stop dipping in the lives of people that you don’t care about. If your hateful, be amongst those who show hate. Don’t ruin a good person by pretending to be their friend….its like grass...St. Augustine grass never wins the battle when fighting with wild weeds.

I’ve lost some friends through my journey of life, just by being who I am, but knowing that my heart has always been pure and my intentions were always good is enough for me. I know that I’m a good person and no one will ever be able to make me think otherwise. Anyone that chooses to miss out on all this awesomeness is the one with the problem.

I’m Blessed on Purpose because I was Blessed to be a Blessing !

An Example, Instructions or Both?

I like to think that I'm pretty in tune with myself and I know what I possess and what I lack. Among the things that I lack, organizational skills and time awareness are at the top of the list. My final year in school has quickly approached and I am still as unorganized, unprepared and last minute as I was 2 1/2 years ago and that’s just unacceptable. I see a lot of my bad habits forming in my children and I want better for them, and in order to make a change in their lives I have to start with me. With times changing as they have, it is no longer enough to tell your children "Do as I Say, Not as I Do!" It’s now time to begin setting good examples and allow them to follow your lead. Just in case my mom and dad's wish came true when they said "I hope you grow up and have a child just like you!" I want to make sure I’m the Best Me I can be! And in order to do that I need to begin preparing for things in advance, being more time conscious and work on my organizational skills.

Each day we are all faced with obstacles of some sort. No One and I repeat No One is immune to the trials of life, its just some people handle situations better than others. Do me a favor and take time to reflect on your life, your decisions and your actions, then think about the results of your actions. If the result is a quality that you don't see fit for your child, change it! Be the person you want your child to be. Who your child becomes is formed based on what examples are taught/shown at home. If you want your child to be loving, SHOW them Love! If you want your child to be compassionate, SHOW them compassion. Experience is the Best Teacher!

So today my voices are saying: Write down the qualities that you want in your child. Then evaluate your qualities and write those down. Compare the list and make sure your list of qualities far surpasses the one you want for your child. If it doesn't it's not to late to build upon it. Children learn better from actions rather than just words!

Which is more helpful...An Example, Instructions or Both? I Choose Both!!

Be Blessed, a Blessing and a Blesser!!

Until Next Time…

　

Life on a Budget

At one time I would go to the store and I had a tendency to randomly pick things up, not things that I necessarily needed, just things that I could see being of use one day.  And when I  say random…that’s exactly what I mean, random meaningless shopping!  I’m the type of person that could go in CVS or Dollar General and go crazy!   It was as if I didn’t have a sense of the value of the dollar.  If I was in the store and saw something that I liked I would just pick it up and get it.

Now that I’m older, I understand the importance of “saving for a rainy day”.  I began to evaluate my spending habits and I realized how much money I was simply blowing.  I became more cognitive of the money I was spending frivolously and decided that it was time to make a change.   I started living based on budget.  It was the best thing that ever happened to me!! Aside from my bills, I gave myself a set amount to give to the Lord, to save, and to spend on “extra” stuff.  You’d be surprised at the difference that this made in my life.  I kept a ledger that I wrote everything I spent down in and I would write my daily affirmations at the top of my ledgers with sayings from my pastor like “I Pray that Money Parks at My Door and that I will have a financial increase with an overflow in money”.  You know they say when you pray you have to be very descriptive, because God is a man that pays attention to the minor details.  And pastor said, a lot of people have money that comes through their house, the key is getting the money to stop there so that’s why the prayer is for the money to park at your door…meaning that my home will be the money’s place of residence.  At this time in my life I was living in pure abundance.  I was not only blessed, but I was also a blessing to others…How Awesome is that?

I haven’t been using my budget for a while now and I find that it’s been harder for me than usual…and you know what that means right…evaluation time!  I still haven’t been spending a lot of money on unnecessary stuff but for some reason I still cant seem to get ahead.   I’ve been baffled by this for some time now and guess what’s different…yep, you guessed it!  I am no longer living an obedient life based on the guidelines of Christ.  I feel that God knows my heart and I don’t live a life of deceit or hate but I’m still not going to church as I should.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that going to church means your living according to his will, but I view going to church as showing God that celebrating him is important.  In order to have a personal relationship with God you have to date him and just as people want to be loved publicly, God is the same way.  He wants more than to be loved behind closed doors, he wants you dressed up and looking your best to greet and praise him!   So church is like doing something special with God.  I know that may seem crazy, but hey…..

With that being said my voices are screaming:  In order to get back to Eden and live on top of the world, you have to praise him in advance & sacrifice for him as you want him to sacrifice for you!

Don’t live life with Gucci Taste, a BCBG Budget and give God based on a Rave Income!

or men

Don't live life with Saks Taste, a Macy's Budget and give God based on a Burlington Income!

You don't want God to cut back on your Blessings so why cut back on your Tithes?

I don’t know about yall, but I’m stomping my own toes with this one!

Until next time….

No Destination is Set in Stone

A few years ago I was blessed with a great job opportunity that I was very thankful for, it was great pay & great benefits. It allowed me to provide for myself, and my family in a way that I had only previously dreamed about.  It opened my mind to something greater than I ever imagined possible at my age and living in Louisiana.  In the beginning I tried to stay grounded and always give thanks for the blessing that I was experiencing with this job, but over time it was as if I forgot about what was truly important.  The longer I worked there, the more I lost sight of exactly how valuable that experience was.  I allowed the actions of others to overcome me and make me someone that I did not want to be.  I began to defend myself in ways that I never had before. When I started this job I was really mild mannered and didn’t say much unless it was absolutely necessary, before leaving this job I was very outspoken, but not necessarily in a good way.  There were many people who felt that I didn’t deserve the job and I took it upon myself to start voicing my opinion about how I deserved the job just as much as anyone else, because I had time in this field and education.  I can look back and realize now that this wasn’t a battle for me to fight and it wasn’t my place to say those things.  I was supposed to continue to give God the glory and let my blessings speak for themselves and allow others to interpret my blessings however they saw fit.

When I was laid off from this job I can honestly say I didn’t know what to feel.  I had so many emotions going on.  I was angry, hurt, disappointed, confused and lets not forget I was going to be broke! I couldn’t understand why God allowed me to lose my job and walk away with nothing.  Out of everyone there, why me? I re-evaluated that time of my life over and over again trying to figure out where I went wrong and I kept coming up short…until recently.  

I can now clearly see how that job lead to a dead end road. I took too many wrong turns and allowed the wrong scenery to catch my attention.  Its now obvious to me how that time in my life made me who I am now.  I am no longer a push over, but I now know when to speak.  I TRY not to fight my own battles, because they aren’t mine to fight. I’m more mindful about the people I trust and if I happen to trust someone that doesn’t deserve such an honor, I take it for what it is and move on. No explanation needed, no love lost.  I view it as another lesson… I have the understanding to review my mistakes and form a What-Not-To-Do-List…and believe me it comes in handy!

This is why I say, “my blessings were NOT a mistake and neither were my disappointments! God knows exactly what I need, in order to be who he wants me to be!” When it seems as if God has allowed your blessings to be taken away from you… he hasn’t. He allows things to happen to us, not to hurt us or stumble us, but to humble us and build us.  God will allow you to experience little blessings to test your growth…see, its up to you if those little blessings become major blessings.  It’s all about how you handle what you’re being given at that time.  Everyone’s life is mapped out, and on the map there are multiple destinations and multiple paths.  The paths you choose dictate your next stop in life and what happens along the way.  But, be mindful, because the pit stops you make in life have the power to adjust your destination.  No destination is set in stone; one wrong turn puts you on a completely different path!  

So today my voices are saying:  When things are going good in your life remember to give God thanks. Otherwise, God may give you a reason to call on him.

There is no such thing as a Final Destination…The journey of life is traveled along endless roads, full of possibilities!

Until Next Time…

Rise with the Sun

Every morning when I’m driving to work, there is the most beautiful scene that erects behind me. The sun. Every time I look in my rear view mirror I’m totally amazed. It doesn’t matter what happened the day before, the sun will still rise beautifully. For example, it stormed yesterday evening, but there it was, rising like nothing happened. That reminds me of how life should be. It doesn’t matter what happened in the past, the day before, an hour before; you should still rise beautifully as you did before it happened. So many times we allow circumstances and situations to allow us to stay down.

I truly believe that most situations that may seem bad initially, always work out for our good. If you look back on some “bad situations” you’ve had, you’ll probably see the same. Every day is a new day and brings us the chance to start over. So let’s mimic the sun and do our best to overcome any situation and never let anything keep us from rising.

Perseverance is one of the greatest qualities that one can embrace!

An EXTRAORDINARY life is the best life - Chantelle

When Who You Are isn't Right, They are the one that’s Wrong!

The Real Me

Will you ever see me for who I am?

For what I bring to the table?

INTELLIGENCE, STABILITY, STRENGTH

The Intelligence to make it in Corporate America and maintain my identity at the same time.

The Stability to assist in making our family prosperous and steadfast

The Strength to deal with my shortcomings as well as others and maintain a stable sense of pride in myself in the midst of it all.

Will you ever see me for who I am?

FORGIVING, LOYAL, PRAYERFUL

Forgiving enough to forgive you for your past and overlook mine in an effort to make this love last.

Loyal enough to travel through the storm of life and make a u-turn when I realize it’s a road I shouldn’t travel.

Prayerful enough to know when to get on my knees and pray for guidance and strength in my life

Will you ever see me for who I am?

APPRECIATIVE, DERSERVING, GIVING

Appreciative of all you do for me and my family.

Deserving of all that you give and more

Giving of all I have physically, emotionally, and materially

When will you allow my actions, words, and love to supersede what you have pre-conceived me to be?   WHEN? When will you see me for who I am?

I am Forgiver of your sins, Bearer of your children, Livelihood of your future!!

I am Beautiful, Captivating, and Witty!

BUT….WHEN WILL YOU SEE THAT?

Years ago this was a question that I always wanted to know the answer to. For some reason it really bothered me how others perceived me.  I wanted them to take me for what I showed them and not what they perceived me to be.  I can remember a time in my life when I wanted to prove my worth to others… I’m soooo glad that I’m passed that point in my life.  I now know that anyone that doesn’t see me for who I am is the person that has the problem…not me.  I am much more than a Diamond in the Ruff, I am a Rare Jewel… I am a Desert Flower, I am Complicated Simplicity at its Best!!

We as women need to realize that not everyone is going to treat us the way we deserve to be treated…but when this happens it doesn’t necessarily mean that there is a problem with us. It just means that God has not sent the man that is meant for you yet. When your mate has been sent by God, he will see things in you that you don’t even see in yourself. A God sent mate will build you up when you’re falling apart! He will bring the best out of you when others only see the worst! He will believe in you when you don’t believe in yourself! He will support you! He will protect you! And most importantly HE WILL MARRY YOU!

When Who You Are isn't Right, They are the one that’s Wrong!

When it’s truly meant to be, there won’t be any questions... only answers!

Only when things are forced will you have problems making them link together perfectly! Real Love is Easy!

In the words of Steve Harvey a Real Man will do the “3 P’s… PROTECT, PROFESS & PROVIDE!!"

Until Next Time….

Pleasure, Happiness & Joy

These are all sentiments or words that have been used to express people at one time or another.  I've noticed in life that people usually affiliate happiness with circumstances.   Happiness is often characterized by good luck or fortune.  Frequently used to describe a person's feelings when something good happens to them.  Happiness is also a feeling that some people use to describe a state of being when romantically involved, which is characterized by emotions.

Pleasure on the other hand, is used to describe a sense of enjoyment or satisfaction derived from what is to one's liking; gratification; delight. Pleasure is usually achieved with a worldly or frivolous enjoyment.  It is also defined as one's will, desire, or choice.

Joy is defined as the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying; keen pleasure; elation.   Intense and especially ecstatic or exultant happiness.

The more I pondered the three, I began to truly think about each words meaning and the antonyms of each.  The antonyms of happiness are- sad, unfortunate or unlucky.   The antonyms of pleasure are- anger, discontentment or resentment.  Whereas, the antonyms of joy are- misery, sorrow or grief.  While contemplating this information I decided to think about each and how they correlated to my life.   I began to realize that the moments of pleasure that I experienced were times that I was doing something that I had an interest in; such as an activity, hobby, or even eating… I can remember pleasure being easily replaced by resentment or anger.   So, I continued to scrutinize my life and was able to remember those times when happiness was what I felt.  I felt happiness at the high points in my life; such as a promotion at work, a new car, or a shopping spree. The moments of happiness gave greater fulfillment than the moments of pleasure, but still wasn't everlasting.   I was excited at the time for my good news, my nice clothes, my new car but I eventually became jaded with my position at work and tired of my clothes and wanted something different. Essentially the happiness lasted longer than pleasure but still faded momentarily.    As I continued thru this journey in my mind I approached  my life in the present tense and thought about the many trials and tribulations that I've been faced with daily but in spite of this a sense of peace within is felt.    It was at that moment I realized that what I now possess is Joy. 

It brought a smile upon my face as I realized that the words that I once thought could have been one in the same were very different.  The difference in the three words was clear; JOY IS A DEEPER LEVEL OF HAPPINESS!  Joy is something that you can hold in the midst of trials, that emits a sense of tranquility. Like the birth of a child, the love of a parent, the bond of a sibling! Pleasure and Happiness can be controlled by you or others BUT Joy is too powerful and permanent to be controlled by man! Joy can only be obtained through Christ.  I realized that by possessing Joy I have the strongest, purest emotion there is! When you possess Joy you experience happiness and pleasure to the 10^th power 

The Tears of Sadness, Misery, Sorrow and Resentment

were the Stepping Stones used to help me Appreciate and Cherish

the Minutes of Pleasures, Moments of Happiness and Eternity of Joy! 

" Joy is not in things, but in us. Joy is the feeling of grinning inside! "

So today my voices are asking:  Would you rather have one of the three...or the one that contains them all??  The Choice is Yours!!

Until Next Time…

The Key to Acknowledgement

The first step is acknowledgement

I recognize that I am lost and that I am aimless roaming through life searching,

            Searching for the unknown, the unseen, the unheard.

I admit that I am in need and that I am unable to fill a void,

            A void of loneliness, of love, of compassion.

I know that I am beautiful inside and out and that I deserve all of my accomplishments,

            Accomplishments of success, of a family, of love.

I realize that I am blessed and that GOD has answered many of my prayers

             Prayers of financial blessings, material blessings, spiritual blessings.

I can identify my faults and I know that there are things that I can change within,

            Change my thoughts, my reactions, my heart.

I understand that no one is perfect and we all fall short

            Short of his word, his hope, and his plan.

These things and more I acknowledge

            NOW WHAT?

I wrote this years ago and never finished it because I could never figure out my next step.  I was stuck and I didn't know why…until now. I've finally realized that I had my NOW WHAT question after the wrong statements.  See its all about placement; being at the right place, at the right time; saying the right words, to the right people; and asking the right questions, when they need to be asked.   

My NOW WHAT then, came from a place of bitterness and strife.  I believed that the world owed me something because of everything that I had been through.  I felt that my life was at a standstill and I wanted something to happen immediately to change that.  I assumed that just because I evaluated my life and acknowledged the compartments of me, that this should have triggered change as a result of my honesty with myself.  But what I didn’t realize is that the key to Acknowledgement is just like an Apology…in order to have a positive effect, it had to come from a sincere heart. It needed to originate from a place whom only intention was to free itself of hurt and pain caused to itself and others.  Not from a place that wanted something in return.  Doing something in hopes for a great return does not show sincerity and it is not deserving of compensation.

So today My Voices are Chanting the answers to NOW WHAT: NOW, you release the pain! NOW, you release the anger! NOW, you forgive! NOW, you release the guilt! NOW, you release the shame! NOW, you release your voice!

Then and only then, will your NOW WHAT be placed in the right direction to bring you to change.

Then and only then, will your NOW WHAT bring you to higher heights and broader opportunities.

Don’t allow your anger and resentment for others to hold you back from where you could be.  

Until Next Time…