It's a Process!

Are you doubting your decision, are you wondering if you tried everything there is to try? Are you afraid that you are giving up on them and they have finally figured out what they had in you and they are ready to do right? Are you considering giving it another shot because you don’t want someone else to benefit from all of your hard work and tears? Are you worried that someone else will come along and they will treat them the way you always wanted to be treated?

If you are and they haven’t given you any reason to doubt your decision… GET OVER IT! If your only reason for questioning letting go is out of your own fear of the unknown LET IT GO! Let's keep it real, If that person has any decency, chances are someone WILL  benefit from your hard work, but it wasn’t in God’s plan for that person to be you.  You have to accept that  there’s nothing you can do to change that!  One thing I believe with all my heart is “Circumstances should NOT affect your loyalty if your goal never changes”.  If someone’s goal is to love, protect, cherish and provide for you nothing should be able to change that.. no temptation, no trial and no obstacle.  So keep in mind that both parties may have been working towards different goals.

I hate to be the one to break this to you, but guess what? There is no quick fix! You will not go to sleep one night, pray for healing and wake up the next morning okay. But, overtime, if you continue to pray and stand firm in your decision, gradually things will get easier.  One thing you must do is ALLOW THE PAIN! Only mask it in public, everyone that shows concern doesn't have your best interest at heart.  Go through the anger, the regret, the crying, the depression, JUST DON’T GO BACK to the person that caused the pain and don’t allow them to hold you back from your future. 

“Every day in life is a test, it’s up to us if it becomes a testimony!”

"Stand Firm, Make a Strong Move & Keep It Moving With Pride"

Alone But Not Lonely

How do you typically deal with the disappointment of a failed relationship?  Do you rush into the arms of another person to fill a void? Do you sleep around looking for affection? Do you build an unbreakable wall around your emotions? Everyone has their own way of coping with disappointment, but when deciding on the method of rehabilitation from heartbreak there are some factors most people overlook.  The main thing I feel people forget to focus on when trying to pick up the pieces is the long term outcome of things. First, I want to say no judgment on how you choose to heal. Next, I want to say always remember life is about more than the present, you must also think about your future.  A question I always ask myself is “How will my current actions affect my future?”

When going through healing, people should evaluate what they want their outcome to be. 

Important factors to consider may include
1.       Staying true to who you are as a person and a parent
2.       Recognize the mistakes you made as well as your partner …NOTE: not just your partner made mistakes
3.        Learn from those mistakes and make mental notes to avoid repeating this behavior
4.       Do NOT focus on love or companionship…focus on healing

The ultimate goal when healing from a relationship should be to become better not bitter.  And it is impossible to become better if you move into a new relationship without evaluating your last one.  Repeating the same process will give you the same results…if you want things to be different you have to change your way of thinking and your attitude.  When entering into a new relationship before accepting the truth of your failed past, the new relationship becomes a crutch.  Meaning, you use it for support never focusing on your own strength to make it through.  When a relationship ends you need time to focus so you can see things for what they were not allowing others to cloud your view and the only way to do this is ALONE. 

You need some time ALONE to accept your past and envision your future…only then will you be able to live a better present. When you spend time alone you force yourself to become complete without the help of anyone else.  Then, the next time you enter a relationship you will already be whole, you will not need anyone to complete you, only to compliment you.  And since this person did not contribute in making you whole, you will not be destroyed if things don't work out. 

IT WILL NOT BE EASY. You will cry. You will have doubts. You will want to go back to what you know. You will long for companionship. But it’ll pass…trust me! YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS!

Your Journey to Self is a journey that will take you to a place of peace where you will learn to be ALONE BUT NOT LONELY!

DO NOT GIVE UP!

I BELIEVE IN YOU!

YOU CAN DO THIS!

Introduction to Journey to Self

One of the questions I get a lot is when I’m going to write a book, and over the years it has become a dream of mine.  I finally decided that I wanted my first book to be an inspirational book about healing and moving on past the hurt.  But since then, it has been put on my heart that my ultimate goal is to help people… so I have decided to post the information on my blog for free that way healing isn’t limited to those that can purchase my book.  This is not to say that eventually I will not write a book…just not right now.  So if you find this information useful I ask that you share my link and join my site to spread the word.   

The first step in this process is to get a notebook and write on it Journey to Self.  This notebook will be dedicated to your journey of becoming a better you.  This will be the first of many tasks to help bring you to a better place in life. 

Task 1 – The Time is Now… It’s Your Decision

I would like to thank you for visiting my site.  Before beginning a few things must be accomplished.

1.      You must realize there is a problem

2.      You must realize it is time to solve that problem

3.      You must realize you can NOT solve that problem on your own or with the help of friends, family and counseling

4.      You are ready to put forth the effort and time that is required to make the changes that are needed to make you a better person overall

5.      You are willing to release any and everything that stops you from achieving these things. 

Take note before preceding that all requirements begin with YOU! Not your wife, your husband, girlfriend/boyfriend, your child, your mother, your friend or your enemy…it begins with YOU! You have to decide that you are ready to change.  You have to decide that you have been in a rut far too long and that you are ready to take control of your destiny and align it with God’s calling for your life. God’s plan for your life is dependent on the decisions that you make, only he knows your full potential and the only way to reach that potential is by making the right decisions. It’s just that simple.  Ultimately you have the final say in how you react to situations. God can lead you but YOU have to choose to follow him in order to reach where he is taking you.

If you are weak and ready to be strong… CONTINUE

If you had a close relationship with God and somehow lost your way… CONTINUE

If you want to enhance your mind spiritually…CONTINUE

If after reading all the above information you are more offended than intrigued or excited… YOU DEFINITELY NEED TO CONTINUE

Philippians 4:13 – I can do all things through CHRIST which strengthened me.

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Natasha Thomas is a person that has a firm belief in Improvement and it is one of her favorite words, because there is always room for improvement, regardless of the subject at hand. The last few years of her life have been a self-growth journey and she is always looking for ways to improve herself as a whole. The Message Behind the Voices is not about her professing to be perfect or a preacher…it’s simply about her travels along her Journey to Self. Writing about things near and dear to her is her way of sowing… She opens herself up, by peeling away the layers one word at a time. She shares her personal experiences in hopes that it can affect others in a positive way. Spread the Word and sign up at  http://TheMessageBehindTheVoices.blogspot.com/

Closure

Do you find it hard to forgive those who have done you wrong?  When you’re angry at someone do you find all the fancy wording about forgiveness being for you, not the other person, a bit overwhelming? Do you think “how can letting someone off the hook for their actions benefit me more than it does them?” If you answered yes to any of the above, you my friend have a problem…but don’t worry it’s a problem that we have all had at one time or another in our lives.

Personally, I feel the reason so many people have a problem forgiving is because as a society we were programed to want answers to all of our questions.  Why?  When?  Who? Where? Are just a few of the questions most people feel they need answers to before forgiving… the answers to these questions are usually summed up in the word CLOSURE.  Closure is what most people seek before moving on from a situation, but often do not find.  The reason most people find it hard to forgive is because instead of searching for closure they should be opening their eyes to ACCEPTANCE.  The reason acceptance can be more beneficial than closure is because for acceptance you rely on yourself and for closure you rely on others.  

Take a look at your situation, look at  all the facts, and accept the reality of the circumstances!  Do not look to someone else to answer questions you already have the facts to answer.  Expecting someone else to give you closure is equivalent to cheating on an open book test from someone without a book.  You are the only person who knows all the supporting facts of your case so don’t look to someone else to give your closing remarks.

Today My Voices are Accepting…. Accepting all that was, all that is and all that shall be.   

 

Until Next Time

Rise with the Sun

Every morning when I’m driving to work, there is the most beautiful scene that erects behind me. The sun. Every time I look in my rear view mirror I’m totally amazed. It doesn’t matter what happened the day before, the sun will still rise beautifully. For example, it stormed yesterday evening, but there it was, rising like nothing happened. That reminds me of how life should be. It doesn’t matter what happened in the past, the day before, an hour before; you should still rise beautifully as you did before it happened. So many times we allow circumstances and situations to allow us to stay down.

I truly believe that most situations that may seem bad initially, always work out for our good. If you look back on some “bad situations” you’ve had, you’ll probably see the same. Every day is a new day and brings us the chance to start over. So let’s mimic the sun and do our best to overcome any situation and never let anything keep us from rising.

Perseverance is one of the greatest qualities that one can embrace!

An EXTRAORDINARY life is the best life - Chantelle

The Key to Acknowledgement

The first step is acknowledgement

I recognize that I am lost and that I am aimless roaming through life searching,

            Searching for the unknown, the unseen, the unheard.

I admit that I am in need and that I am unable to fill a void,

            A void of loneliness, of love, of compassion.

I know that I am beautiful inside and out and that I deserve all of my accomplishments,

            Accomplishments of success, of a family, of love.

I realize that I am blessed and that GOD has answered many of my prayers

             Prayers of financial blessings, material blessings, spiritual blessings.

I can identify my faults and I know that there are things that I can change within,

            Change my thoughts, my reactions, my heart.

I understand that no one is perfect and we all fall short

            Short of his word, his hope, and his plan.

These things and more I acknowledge

            NOW WHAT?

I wrote this years ago and never finished it because I could never figure out my next step.  I was stuck and I didn't know why…until now. I've finally realized that I had my NOW WHAT question after the wrong statements.  See its all about placement; being at the right place, at the right time; saying the right words, to the right people; and asking the right questions, when they need to be asked.   

My NOW WHAT then, came from a place of bitterness and strife.  I believed that the world owed me something because of everything that I had been through.  I felt that my life was at a standstill and I wanted something to happen immediately to change that.  I assumed that just because I evaluated my life and acknowledged the compartments of me, that this should have triggered change as a result of my honesty with myself.  But what I didn’t realize is that the key to Acknowledgement is just like an Apology…in order to have a positive effect, it had to come from a sincere heart. It needed to originate from a place whom only intention was to free itself of hurt and pain caused to itself and others.  Not from a place that wanted something in return.  Doing something in hopes for a great return does not show sincerity and it is not deserving of compensation.

So today My Voices are Chanting the answers to NOW WHAT: NOW, you release the pain! NOW, you release the anger! NOW, you forgive! NOW, you release the guilt! NOW, you release the shame! NOW, you release your voice!

Then and only then, will your NOW WHAT be placed in the right direction to bring you to change.

Then and only then, will your NOW WHAT bring you to higher heights and broader opportunities.

Don’t allow your anger and resentment for others to hold you back from where you could be.  

Until Next Time…