It's a Process!

Are you doubting your decision, are you wondering if you tried everything there is to try? Are you afraid that you are giving up on them and they have finally figured out what they had in you and they are ready to do right? Are you considering giving it another shot because you don’t want someone else to benefit from all of your hard work and tears? Are you worried that someone else will come along and they will treat them the way you always wanted to be treated?

If you are and they haven’t given you any reason to doubt your decision… GET OVER IT! If your only reason for questioning letting go is out of your own fear of the unknown LET IT GO! Let's keep it real, If that person has any decency, chances are someone WILL  benefit from your hard work, but it wasn’t in God’s plan for that person to be you.  You have to accept that  there’s nothing you can do to change that!  One thing I believe with all my heart is “Circumstances should NOT affect your loyalty if your goal never changes”.  If someone’s goal is to love, protect, cherish and provide for you nothing should be able to change that.. no temptation, no trial and no obstacle.  So keep in mind that both parties may have been working towards different goals.

I hate to be the one to break this to you, but guess what? There is no quick fix! You will not go to sleep one night, pray for healing and wake up the next morning okay. But, overtime, if you continue to pray and stand firm in your decision, gradually things will get easier.  One thing you must do is ALLOW THE PAIN! Only mask it in public, everyone that shows concern doesn't have your best interest at heart.  Go through the anger, the regret, the crying, the depression, JUST DON’T GO BACK to the person that caused the pain and don’t allow them to hold you back from your future. 

“Every day in life is a test, it’s up to us if it becomes a testimony!”

"Stand Firm, Make a Strong Move & Keep It Moving With Pride"

Demolition

In life you will encounter many types of people.  There are people who you will meet who want to destroy and some who will want to build.  The process of both is so strategic, it is hard to notice which is which at times. Usually the people that try to destroy you are those closest to you. The destroying can be of your character, your reputation, your spirit, your hope, your positivity and so on.  It is usually people whom you trust and love. 

Demolition is the tearing down of structures.  The process of demolishing consists of pulling down either manually or mechanically.  The preparation and finalization for demolition is a long process, it takes months and sometimes years to prepare for (negative people will eat away at you for as long as it takes for them to conquer your mind).  All items of value have to be stripped from the property (they will steal joy, dreams and confidence).   The goal is to use as little explosives as possible; only to destroy a few layers so that it is safer. It’s viewed as demolishing the structure down to a certain manageable height (they take away enough for you to be lost but leave enough for them to be able to mold you into what they want you to become).

When a building fails to collapse completely in the demolition process it will leave the structure unstable, tilting at a dangerous angle, and filled with un-detonated but still primed explosives, making it difficult to be approached safely (which is parallel to a person trying to break someone down and not succeeding completely, the attacked person still has strength but may have lost a little hope… which makes it hard for the mistreated person to trust other people in life because of past experiences).

Now that I have described the demolition process I need you to evaluate your life and your circumstances and see if the above situation correlates to your life.  If so, it’s time to pull out that notebook because you may need to make a few notes…make sure to date the page for future reference.

1.       Identify the negative factor(s) in your life

2.       Identify the person aiding in this problem (note I said aiding because we each play a part in how we allow ourselves to be treated)

3.       Identify situations that have caused you to feel defeated, depleted and destroyed and remember how these things made you feel

4.       Use those feelings as fuel to fight for a better life. (I do not mean fight literally but you will experience an internal battle of the known and unknown)

5.       Write down experiences and feelings that you do not want to repeat (this will help you identify what you are willing to accept out of life)

Now that you have identified the problem, people and or situation that is halting your happiness it’s time to take a stand.  Say no to situations and people that make you go against what you feel you deserve and if they cannot adjust for the betterment of your life, remove yourself from these people and or situations.  DO NOT CONTINUE to allow these things to have an adverse effect on you.   Work through the pain to obtain the end result of peace.  It’s going to be hard, you’re going to cry, you’re going to have doubts, you’re going to be angry; but DON’T GIVE UP!  Everything is a process, it took time to get to where you are and it will take time to heal past it, but it’s possible and it will be worth it!

Isaiah 41:10 - So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Introduction to Journey to Self

One of the questions I get a lot is when I’m going to write a book, and over the years it has become a dream of mine.  I finally decided that I wanted my first book to be an inspirational book about healing and moving on past the hurt.  But since then, it has been put on my heart that my ultimate goal is to help people… so I have decided to post the information on my blog for free that way healing isn’t limited to those that can purchase my book.  This is not to say that eventually I will not write a book…just not right now.  So if you find this information useful I ask that you share my link and join my site to spread the word.   

The first step in this process is to get a notebook and write on it Journey to Self.  This notebook will be dedicated to your journey of becoming a better you.  This will be the first of many tasks to help bring you to a better place in life. 

Task 1 – The Time is Now… It’s Your Decision

I would like to thank you for visiting my site.  Before beginning a few things must be accomplished.

1.      You must realize there is a problem

2.      You must realize it is time to solve that problem

3.      You must realize you can NOT solve that problem on your own or with the help of friends, family and counseling

4.      You are ready to put forth the effort and time that is required to make the changes that are needed to make you a better person overall

5.      You are willing to release any and everything that stops you from achieving these things. 

Take note before preceding that all requirements begin with YOU! Not your wife, your husband, girlfriend/boyfriend, your child, your mother, your friend or your enemy…it begins with YOU! You have to decide that you are ready to change.  You have to decide that you have been in a rut far too long and that you are ready to take control of your destiny and align it with God’s calling for your life. God’s plan for your life is dependent on the decisions that you make, only he knows your full potential and the only way to reach that potential is by making the right decisions. It’s just that simple.  Ultimately you have the final say in how you react to situations. God can lead you but YOU have to choose to follow him in order to reach where he is taking you.

If you are weak and ready to be strong… CONTINUE

If you had a close relationship with God and somehow lost your way… CONTINUE

If you want to enhance your mind spiritually…CONTINUE

If after reading all the above information you are more offended than intrigued or excited… YOU DEFINITELY NEED TO CONTINUE

Philippians 4:13 – I can do all things through CHRIST which strengthened me.

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Natasha Thomas is a person that has a firm belief in Improvement and it is one of her favorite words, because there is always room for improvement, regardless of the subject at hand. The last few years of her life have been a self-growth journey and she is always looking for ways to improve herself as a whole. The Message Behind the Voices is not about her professing to be perfect or a preacher…it’s simply about her travels along her Journey to Self. Writing about things near and dear to her is her way of sowing… She opens herself up, by peeling away the layers one word at a time. She shares her personal experiences in hopes that it can affect others in a positive way. Spread the Word and sign up at  http://TheMessageBehindTheVoices.blogspot.com/

Closure

Do you find it hard to forgive those who have done you wrong?  When you’re angry at someone do you find all the fancy wording about forgiveness being for you, not the other person, a bit overwhelming? Do you think “how can letting someone off the hook for their actions benefit me more than it does them?” If you answered yes to any of the above, you my friend have a problem…but don’t worry it’s a problem that we have all had at one time or another in our lives.

Personally, I feel the reason so many people have a problem forgiving is because as a society we were programed to want answers to all of our questions.  Why?  When?  Who? Where? Are just a few of the questions most people feel they need answers to before forgiving… the answers to these questions are usually summed up in the word CLOSURE.  Closure is what most people seek before moving on from a situation, but often do not find.  The reason most people find it hard to forgive is because instead of searching for closure they should be opening their eyes to ACCEPTANCE.  The reason acceptance can be more beneficial than closure is because for acceptance you rely on yourself and for closure you rely on others.  

Take a look at your situation, look at  all the facts, and accept the reality of the circumstances!  Do not look to someone else to answer questions you already have the facts to answer.  Expecting someone else to give you closure is equivalent to cheating on an open book test from someone without a book.  You are the only person who knows all the supporting facts of your case so don’t look to someone else to give your closing remarks.

Today My Voices are Accepting…. Accepting all that was, all that is and all that shall be.   

 

Until Next Time

Loving Beyond

Aside from the love of God, one of the most important types of love is self love.  So often people profess a love for themselves, but when put to the test they fail tremendously. In order to have a successful relationship with oneself,  you must learn to love yourself unconditionally and beyond all circumstances.

The term loving yourself beyond, means to love yourself outside of yourself, forming an unbreakable barrier of strength founded in self love.  This love must exist beyond the circumstances in your life. Meaning, you must create a love for yourself strong enough to withstand the pain of disappointment, the anger of regret, the feeling of being overlooked, unappreciated, inadequate, etc.  If you do not learn to love yourself beyond these situations, you are basically giving the enemy an easy attack route.  There are many people in life, that knowingly or unknowingly, seek out weaknesses in others. They will find or create character flaws within a person, to create an opening to gain access to their mind, their heart or both.  Once this is done, they play on your weakness until it begins to consume you, giving them full access and reign over your feelings of self worth.

If you have allowed this to happen to you, it is not too late to correct the situation. Gain control and start the journey to take back over your life today! 

Today my voices are loving…loving all that is me, was me and shall be me. And I ask that you do the same! It is imperative that you LOVE YOURSELF BEYOND! This is one of the most important foundations in building a better you. 

Until Next Time....

Am I Big-Eyed?

Am I Big-Eyed?  In life we always seem to want more... a newer car, the most up to date phone or laptop, a bigger house, name brand clothes and the list goes on and on (at least mine does).  So while doing my ‘self check’ inventory I decided it was time to get it together.  

5 Steps to Resolving issues on Self Check Inventory

1.  Realize there is a problem and identify it.  (Evaluate the present state and determine how it is different from the ultimate goal)

2.  Analyze the problem (search beyond the obvious for circumstances surrounding the problem)

3.  Brainstorm for possible resolutions (be creative and consider similar problems and how you have solved them, make changes where necessary)

4.  Evaluate possible solutions (think about the results of each action that could be taken, advantages as well as disadvantages…don’t forget to think long-term as well as immediate results)

5.  Choose a solution and let her rip!!

Journey to Self:  “In which areas of your life do you experience the most discontentment? What would it take for you to be content?”

Until Next Time…

The Special Encounters

The last couple of months I have allowed the worries of the world to interfere with my spiritual growth.  About a week ago I got a tweet from a new follower named Stephanie and it read: “Hey lady! How is God treating you today?”  I literally stopped what I was doing because it caught me off guard. I was just tweeting random craziness and out of nowhere here was someone asking how God was treating me.  I instantly felt condemned about my recent actions, words and thoughts.  I responded “Hi, he’s been great to me, what about you?” I replied but you know, sometimes we go through the motions and say what we feel people expect us to say or we answer with truth not really pondering the significance of the words we speak.  Later that week Stephanie tweeted Everyone has something they feel strongly about.  But the question becomes are you going to do anything about it.

Yesterday I went to the track to walk and I had the pleasure of accompanying a beautiful young lady around my age that I knew while growing up.  It was my first time really talking to her and her spirit was AH-MAY-ZING! She spoke with such grace and conviction about her love for God and all he’s done and is doing in her life.  I saw in her what I need to see in myself.  She truly inspired me and spoke to my heart and made me do inventory of my spiritual characteristics.  After leaving the track, I felt like God put us on the track at the same time for a reason.  I thought back to the tweet Everyone has something they feel strongly about.  But the question becomes are you going to do anything about it. And it meant something totally different at that moment.  I ‘claim’ to have such a Fear Of and Love For God, yet I do nothing about it.  It’s not in my everyday talk or my walk and definitely not in my tweets LOL. I’m not saying that it should be all that I talk about, but it should be evident when coming into contact with me.

So Today my Voices are Praying: praying for forgiveness of my transgressions, strength in my never ending journey of being a better person, awareness of my actions both good and bad, control to guard my tongue from the things that are unlike him and I pray most of all for a more profound voice to speak of his greatness!

In the words of Stephanie How is God treating you today? And what are you going to do about it?

…Until Next Time

Restoration

Years ago I started something that I called my journey to self. It was a time in my life where I felt the need to get to know myself in every meaning of the word…my hopes, dreams, prayers, likes, dislikes and so on. It was something that I took really serious. It was really an eye opening experience for me, but somewhere along the way I ventured off that path and just begin to live life. I began living with no real direction, I was simply living with a level of contentment with no major goals or aspirations…you know what Christians call backsliding. Then something in me changed again and I found my way back to that journey of self and this time along with that journey came a closer relationship with God and I couldn’t be more excited! The revelations that come along with knowing myself and knowing God are amazing. Its like when you became comfortable with who you are you are able to hear God’s words more clearly (figuratively speaking that is) …When the clutter of our confused minds (flesh) is cleared out, it clears a path for divine direction (spirit) to happen in our lives. I’m saying all of this to say that God is in the restoring business.

You know that song by Donald Lawrence where they sing about restoring the years you’ve sown in tears.

The lyrics are :

Lend me your ears thus said the Lord

And know that my word, will not return void

Your time I sustained, there's no need to fear,

I'm restoring the years you've sown in tears

I am the Author, writer of time

No matter how long, things will work out just fine

Deposit this word, there's no need to fear

I'm restoring the years you've sown in tears

Lift up you hands, receive from the Lord

Your broken spirit, receive from the Lord

Deposit this word, there's no need to fear

And they go on to sing…I'm Healin you…..

This song has so much meaning …the thought of God replacing pain with joy, tears with laughter, hard work with success and so forth. People always say God is Good but God is so much better than good….He is Great!

...to be continued