Alone But Not Lonely

How do you typically deal with the disappointment of a failed relationship?  Do you rush into the arms of another person to fill a void? Do you sleep around looking for affection? Do you build an unbreakable wall around your emotions? Everyone has their own way of coping with disappointment, but when deciding on the method of rehabilitation from heartbreak there are some factors most people overlook.  The main thing I feel people forget to focus on when trying to pick up the pieces is the long term outcome of things. First, I want to say no judgment on how you choose to heal. Next, I want to say always remember life is about more than the present, you must also think about your future.  A question I always ask myself is “How will my current actions affect my future?”

When going through healing, people should evaluate what they want their outcome to be. 

Important factors to consider may include
1.       Staying true to who you are as a person and a parent
2.       Recognize the mistakes you made as well as your partner …NOTE: not just your partner made mistakes
3.        Learn from those mistakes and make mental notes to avoid repeating this behavior
4.       Do NOT focus on love or companionship…focus on healing

The ultimate goal when healing from a relationship should be to become better not bitter.  And it is impossible to become better if you move into a new relationship without evaluating your last one.  Repeating the same process will give you the same results…if you want things to be different you have to change your way of thinking and your attitude.  When entering into a new relationship before accepting the truth of your failed past, the new relationship becomes a crutch.  Meaning, you use it for support never focusing on your own strength to make it through.  When a relationship ends you need time to focus so you can see things for what they were not allowing others to cloud your view and the only way to do this is ALONE. 

You need some time ALONE to accept your past and envision your future…only then will you be able to live a better present. When you spend time alone you force yourself to become complete without the help of anyone else.  Then, the next time you enter a relationship you will already be whole, you will not need anyone to complete you, only to compliment you.  And since this person did not contribute in making you whole, you will not be destroyed if things don't work out. 

IT WILL NOT BE EASY. You will cry. You will have doubts. You will want to go back to what you know. You will long for companionship. But it’ll pass…trust me! YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS!

Your Journey to Self is a journey that will take you to a place of peace where you will learn to be ALONE BUT NOT LONELY!

DO NOT GIVE UP!

I BELIEVE IN YOU!

YOU CAN DO THIS!