As a child do you remember your parent’s telling you “Stop crying before I give you something to cry about”? Do you remember the fear that was placed in your heart from that statement? Growing up that never made sense to me, I always felt that I was crying for a reason… but I find myself telling my children the same thing. Last night I watched ‘Oprah’s Next Chapter’ and Tyler Perry was on there, he said something that really spoke to my heart and made me evaluate the way I do things. He said that once his mom died he was able to release everything he was holding inside about being molested as child. At that moment my heart went out to him because I understood where he was coming from.
Back in the day things were much different than they are now, every family had secrets (and kept them)! Parents and grandparents instilled fear in their children that kept them from being able to express themselves without fear of being chastised. This fear was passed down from one generation to the next and made children always respect their elders, but in life we know that with every pro there is a con. The fear that was passed down also brought the cycle of children enduring pain at the hands of loved ones or close friends of the family and not speaking on it. Parents often built barriers so strong and so high when instilling fear that even when children tried to express themselves their words fell on deaf ears. Many say that we need to go back to the old way of doing things, but I do not fully agree. I do feel that we should instill fear in our children, but only enough for them to know that parents and adults should be respected, not enough to halt them from standing up for themselves or sharing things with us that we need to know. Don’t misunderstand what I’m saying, I don’t feel children should be able to talk back and freely say disrespectful things nor do I think a child should consider their parents a friend. But I do feel that they should be confident in trusting their parents enough to know that they will ALWAYS protect them no matter the consequence or the subject at hand. My view is as people and parents we should evolve. Evolve is defined meaning to develop something gradually. We should take things from the past and the things we know now and develop a better way to raise our children. As a parent it should be more important to protect your child than to uphold an image to the public. There is a message behind every voice and you never know who you can save by speaking out.
Today my voices are praying “I pray that I rear my children in a way that they understand the difference in right and wrong as well as respect from disrespect. I pray that they know how to handle the circumstances they are faced with in life and if they can’t I pray that they know that I will always be there for them regardless of who or what will be affected in the process. I pray that they have a close relationship with God and that they seek him in everything and never be so afraid of me that they keep something from me in fear of the consequences. I pray that they know when to speak and when to be quiet and I pray that I know the same." Amen
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
...Until Next Time
