Shooting in Connecticut

There was a shooting today at an Elementary school in Connecticut. It’s been reported that at least 26 people are dead and more are reported to be injured and in the hospital.  It was stated that a man went in one of the kindergarten classes and started shooting.  When I hear stories of people “randomly” killing others I’m instantly filled with so many emotions…confusion, anger, love, pain, compassion..and the list goes on and on. 

Of those thoughts my mind went back to how every morning when I drop the kids off at the bus stop, my baby runs behind the car with the biggest smile on his face. I was just thinking yesterday “this is one of those moments you never forget” the sparkle in his eye and joy in his heart as he playfully does something that brightens my morning is priceless.  This very same morning it was cold so my oldest child made me some hot cocoa to “help me have a good day”. This gesture did not only warm me physically it touched my heart and soul and let me know that what I do for him does not go unnoticed. 

I can’t imagine sending my children off to school and never seeing them again.  I can’t imagine my last encounters with them being at the age of 12 & 8. Of all the thoughts currently running through my mind, the one thing that gives me comfort is knowing every day I tell them I love them, have a good day and I make them hug me (if they like it or not).

When I started writing, I thought this would be about my anger towards the man who committed this heinous crime, but it’s not.

Today, My Voices are Praying…praying for the parents that have lost their children, praying for the students that have witnessed such tragedy, praying for the survivors of this disaster.  I pray that the parents’ thoughts of time with their child are full of precious memories and no regrets. I pray that the students that witnessed the tragedy realize the severity of the situation and know that they are blessed to still be here. I pray for the survivors, that they know they were not spared to waist away but their life should serve a purpose because they were spared. 

…Until Next Time

Forgiveness

At work I like to use at least one of my breaks to walk briskly.  Today my friend and I were walking and talking as we normally do, but today I started sharing some things with her that I hadn’t talked about in a long time and it inspired me to write.

A few years ago my mom would always tell me “Tasha, you’re blocking your blessings by holding on to anger, resentment and pain.  You have to figure out a way to forgive or you’ll never be able to truly move on.” I remember this conversation as if it were yesterday.  I would just brush her off and say: “I know Ma, but I’m not ready yet.” I felt as if I needed the pain and anger to fuel me to keep going. It was as if the bitterness I had in my heart for those that I feel wronged me, kept me strong, determined and on the right path.  As time went on I did just that… I used all Ill will towardsme as fuel to overcome adversity, and depression.

One day I was headed to church having a talk with God (which is normal for me) my intentions were to pray a prayer for me to move on and open a new chapter of my life.  And out of no where, I began saying that I was ready to forgive everyone that hurt me and ready to move on with my life.  I can remember saying  “Lord, I’m tired of being angry, I want to let it all go and stop allowing my past to bring me to tears or rage at the mere thought of it.”  By this point I was in tears and literally crying my eyes out… but not from sadness, it was from relief.  It was like a weight was lifted immediately!  As soon as I spoke those words of forgiveness, the plan for my life changed.

So Today, My Voices are Remembering…Forgiveness is the Key that Unlocks the Door of Unimaginable Blessings!!

If you need the anger to fuel you, Fine…but once the fuel diminishes do not fill up again!  Release it and move on with love, understanding and wisdom!

…Until Next Time