Closure

Do you find it hard to forgive those who have done you wrong?  When you’re angry at someone do you find all the fancy wording about forgiveness being for you, not the other person, a bit overwhelming? Do you think “how can letting someone off the hook for their actions benefit me more than it does them?” If you answered yes to any of the above, you my friend have a problem…but don’t worry it’s a problem that we have all had at one time or another in our lives.

Personally, I feel the reason so many people have a problem forgiving is because as a society we were programed to want answers to all of our questions.  Why?  When?  Who? Where? Are just a few of the questions most people feel they need answers to before forgiving… the answers to these questions are usually summed up in the word CLOSURE.  Closure is what most people seek before moving on from a situation, but often do not find.  The reason most people find it hard to forgive is because instead of searching for closure they should be opening their eyes to ACCEPTANCE.  The reason acceptance can be more beneficial than closure is because for acceptance you rely on yourself and for closure you rely on others.  

Take a look at your situation, look at  all the facts, and accept the reality of the circumstances!  Do not look to someone else to answer questions you already have the facts to answer.  Expecting someone else to give you closure is equivalent to cheating on an open book test from someone without a book.  You are the only person who knows all the supporting facts of your case so don’t look to someone else to give your closing remarks.

Today My Voices are Accepting…. Accepting all that was, all that is and all that shall be.   

 

Until Next Time

Forgive Them Father-Lauryn Hill

“Forgive them father, for they know not what they doooo!” I woke up singing this song this morning for some reason and I have not been able to block it out of my mind… so it was a must that I look up the lyrics. And a few that stick out to me are

Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those That trespass against us

Although them again we will Never, Never, Never Trust

Forgive them father, for they know not what they doooo

Beware the false motives of others

Be careful of those who pretend to be brothers

And you never suppose it's those who are closest to you,

They say all the right things to gain their position

Then use your kindness as their ammunition

To shoot you down in the name of ambition,

Forgive them father, for they know not what they doooo

Why every Indian wanna be the chief?

Feed a man 'til he's full and he still want beef

Give me grief, try to thief off my piece

Walk you to the increase, I must decrease?
If I treat you kindly does it mean that I'm weak?

You hear me speak and think I won't take it to the streets

I know enough cats that don't turn the other cheek

But I try to keep it civilized like Menelik

To survive is to stay alive in the face of opposition

Even when they comin' gunnin' I stand position

L's known the mission since conception

Let's free the people from deception

If you lookin' for the answers then you gotta ask the questions

Like Cain and Abel, Caesar and Brutus

Jesus and Judas, back stabbers do this

Forgive them father, for they know not what they doooo

It took me a little while to discover

Wolves in sheep coats who pretend to be lovers

Men who lack conscience will even lie to themselves
A friend once said and I found to be true

That, "Everyday people, they lie to God too

So what makes you think that they won't lie to you"

Forgive them father, for they know not what they doooo

That’s one deep song!! The lyrics are truly speaking volumes to me today.

So my voices are literally singing…”FORGIVE THEM FATHER FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DOOOOOOO!” Realize and accept things and people as they are not how you want them to be, when and if things change THEN and only then should you change your perception. Leave the judging to God and focus on the way you live your life.

…Until Next time

Languages of Love

My friend Rakia bought me a book called the Different Languages of Love. It was a very good book, it was about the different ways that people love. It went in to detail about how everyone loves in their own way.

Typically when we think of someone loving and supporting us we think about having someone that we discuss our thoughts and dreams with. Someone that encourages us to keep on trying to achieve the things we want out of life. Or someone that helps us obtain these things by giving their input and sharing their thoughts and dreams. But, just because this is what our mind automatically goes to, doesn’t mean that these are the only ways to show love and support.

I am a full time mother, wife, student, worker, natural hair enthusiast and now blogger! My life is far from dull. I have a husband that loves me in spite of my many layers (working on the because of part) but he shows his support for my many ventures by making it possible for me to have enough time to explore my project of the day...whatever that may be. He does this by occupying the children when I’m doing school work, cooking for the kids and I so I don’t have to, helping out with housework etc. There was a time in our relationship that I didn’t understand that this was his way of loving me.. this is his personal language of love.

My point is, just because someone doesn’t love you the way you or society think they should, that does not mean that the love isn’t there. The way a person love is a part of their personal identity. The way they profess their love is a result of the imprint that life has left on them that enables them to show and receive love in a way that is fit for their life.

Today My Voices are Screaming: IT STARTS WITH YOU!! Evaluate the situation, recognize your blessings, accept the good, pray on the bad, enjoy life and allow people to love in their own way…you never know, your acceptance may open a new language of love for everyone involved.

I'm still a work in progress, but at least now im on the right path!

LOVE YALL!! Thanks for reading and supporting me