Close the Door

It’s been over for what seems like a while to you, so you think that you’re finally in a place to have a conversation with your ex. Yall talk and they give their side of the story and your shocked, appalled, angry, hurt, confused or all of the above.  Now you feel the need to not only want to explain your point of view but also wanting to defend yourself against their allegations. Once this is done your usually left crying, feeling like the breakup just happened and your back to square one.

DO NOT DO THIS! THE CONVERSATION WILL ONLY CHANGE YOUR MENTAL STATE!

Some of the main quarrels in life are because of people's inabilities to understand others, stubbornness to only understand themselves and their refusal to compromise or show compassion for others. I feel that so many of life's hang ups can be freed by simply learning to agree to disagree, without holding a grudge.

The top characteristic that forms a person’s view on different situations is the experiences in life that they have encountered. The events in everyone's life is different, therefore it is most likely that each perspective will also be different. We as people need to keep in mind that when looking out of life's window, the view we see will be based on our PERSONAL trials, triumphs and failures.

People who do NOT share your perspective on life will not see the same view you see when looking out of life's window. Each window has a different view!

A Thief does NOT share the view of a Noble Man.

A Hustler can NOT comprehend the strict budget of a Hard Working Man, just as a Millionaire can not fathom the struggles of Ordinary People.

A Mistress could NEVER understand the perspective of a Wife.

A Fornicator can NOT grasp the abstinence of a Priest, no more than a Sinner can comprehend the walk of a person that fears God.

Face it, if yall shared the same point of views, honored the same values and feared the same God, things would have turned out differently.  You will not get all the answers to your questions. All the explaining in the world will not smooth things out. You are only hurting yourself by going back trying to understand and explain.

STOP TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THEM! STOP TRYING TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF! ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS TO LEARN IS ACCEPTANCE! ACCEPT WHAT IS AND REALIZE THAT CLOSURE DOES NOT EXIST IN THE FORM THAT MOST PEOPLE THINK IT DOES.  YOU PROVIDE YOUR OWN CLOSURE BY CLOSING THE DOOR TO YOUR PAST!

 

 

Closure

Do you find it hard to forgive those who have done you wrong?  When you’re angry at someone do you find all the fancy wording about forgiveness being for you, not the other person, a bit overwhelming? Do you think “how can letting someone off the hook for their actions benefit me more than it does them?” If you answered yes to any of the above, you my friend have a problem…but don’t worry it’s a problem that we have all had at one time or another in our lives.

Personally, I feel the reason so many people have a problem forgiving is because as a society we were programed to want answers to all of our questions.  Why?  When?  Who? Where? Are just a few of the questions most people feel they need answers to before forgiving… the answers to these questions are usually summed up in the word CLOSURE.  Closure is what most people seek before moving on from a situation, but often do not find.  The reason most people find it hard to forgive is because instead of searching for closure they should be opening their eyes to ACCEPTANCE.  The reason acceptance can be more beneficial than closure is because for acceptance you rely on yourself and for closure you rely on others.  

Take a look at your situation, look at  all the facts, and accept the reality of the circumstances!  Do not look to someone else to answer questions you already have the facts to answer.  Expecting someone else to give you closure is equivalent to cheating on an open book test from someone without a book.  You are the only person who knows all the supporting facts of your case so don’t look to someone else to give your closing remarks.

Today My Voices are Accepting…. Accepting all that was, all that is and all that shall be.   

 

Until Next Time