What Kind of Friend are You?

I am one of the most stubborn people you’ll ever meet. I speak on things with great passion and I’m very adamant about what I believe to be true. I get loud and sometimes overbearing when trying to make my point. I don’t mean to be this way; it has just become a part of who I am over the years. Being opinionated and strong willed isn’t something that everyone can handle. There are some people that don’t like when someone else’s views don’t coincide with their personal thoughts. I, on the other hand, don’t have a problem agreeing to disagree.

People claim to be "real" and "love realness", but the truth of the matter is, most people don’t want to hear the truth. They want someone to agree with their thoughts and build them up even if they’re wrong and their way of thinking is warped. Personally, I’m not that type of friend, if you ask me a question, I’ll give you my honest answer and feeling on the subject. I will try my best to be mindful of your feelings, but I wont pacify the truth, and I would expect the same in return.

Everyone wants people in their lives for different reasons…to make them look better, feel better and even do better. Personally, I have no problem building another person up, sharing the spotlight or even stepping aside and allowing others to shine. And in the midst I can genuinely be happy for others and their accomplishments. But everyone doesn’t possess this quality.

So often, good people get mixed up with people with bad intentions, and instead of the good rubbing off on the bad it’s usually the other way around. Bad seeds are easily planted and will manifest in your life with great force if you allow it. Don’t allow the ill intentions of others to be the motivating force that makes you change who you are.

So my question to you is… What kind of friend are You? And, What kind do you want? Be the friend that you want to attract, and stop dipping in the lives of people that you don’t care about. If your hateful, be amongst those who show hate. Don’t ruin a good person by pretending to be their friend….its like grass...St. Augustine grass never wins the battle when fighting with wild weeds.

I’ve lost some friends through my journey of life, just by being who I am, but knowing that my heart has always been pure and my intentions were always good is enough for me. I know that I’m a good person and no one will ever be able to make me think otherwise. Anyone that chooses to miss out on all this awesomeness is the one with the problem.

I’m Blessed on Purpose because I was Blessed to be a Blessing !

An Example, Instructions or Both?

I like to think that I'm pretty in tune with myself and I know what I possess and what I lack. Among the things that I lack, organizational skills and time awareness are at the top of the list. My final year in school has quickly approached and I am still as unorganized, unprepared and last minute as I was 2 1/2 years ago and that’s just unacceptable. I see a lot of my bad habits forming in my children and I want better for them, and in order to make a change in their lives I have to start with me. With times changing as they have, it is no longer enough to tell your children "Do as I Say, Not as I Do!" It’s now time to begin setting good examples and allow them to follow your lead. Just in case my mom and dad's wish came true when they said "I hope you grow up and have a child just like you!" I want to make sure I’m the Best Me I can be! And in order to do that I need to begin preparing for things in advance, being more time conscious and work on my organizational skills.

Each day we are all faced with obstacles of some sort. No One and I repeat No One is immune to the trials of life, its just some people handle situations better than others. Do me a favor and take time to reflect on your life, your decisions and your actions, then think about the results of your actions. If the result is a quality that you don't see fit for your child, change it! Be the person you want your child to be. Who your child becomes is formed based on what examples are taught/shown at home. If you want your child to be loving, SHOW them Love! If you want your child to be compassionate, SHOW them compassion. Experience is the Best Teacher!

So today my voices are saying: Write down the qualities that you want in your child. Then evaluate your qualities and write those down. Compare the list and make sure your list of qualities far surpasses the one you want for your child. If it doesn't it's not to late to build upon it. Children learn better from actions rather than just words!

Which is more helpful...An Example, Instructions or Both? I Choose Both!!

Be Blessed, a Blessing and a Blesser!!

Until Next Time…

　

Life on a Budget

At one time I would go to the store and I had a tendency to randomly pick things up, not things that I necessarily needed, just things that I could see being of use one day.  And when I  say random…that’s exactly what I mean, random meaningless shopping!  I’m the type of person that could go in CVS or Dollar General and go crazy!   It was as if I didn’t have a sense of the value of the dollar.  If I was in the store and saw something that I liked I would just pick it up and get it.

Now that I’m older, I understand the importance of “saving for a rainy day”.  I began to evaluate my spending habits and I realized how much money I was simply blowing.  I became more cognitive of the money I was spending frivolously and decided that it was time to make a change.   I started living based on budget.  It was the best thing that ever happened to me!! Aside from my bills, I gave myself a set amount to give to the Lord, to save, and to spend on “extra” stuff.  You’d be surprised at the difference that this made in my life.  I kept a ledger that I wrote everything I spent down in and I would write my daily affirmations at the top of my ledgers with sayings from my pastor like “I Pray that Money Parks at My Door and that I will have a financial increase with an overflow in money”.  You know they say when you pray you have to be very descriptive, because God is a man that pays attention to the minor details.  And pastor said, a lot of people have money that comes through their house, the key is getting the money to stop there so that’s why the prayer is for the money to park at your door…meaning that my home will be the money’s place of residence.  At this time in my life I was living in pure abundance.  I was not only blessed, but I was also a blessing to others…How Awesome is that?

I haven’t been using my budget for a while now and I find that it’s been harder for me than usual…and you know what that means right…evaluation time!  I still haven’t been spending a lot of money on unnecessary stuff but for some reason I still cant seem to get ahead.   I’ve been baffled by this for some time now and guess what’s different…yep, you guessed it!  I am no longer living an obedient life based on the guidelines of Christ.  I feel that God knows my heart and I don’t live a life of deceit or hate but I’m still not going to church as I should.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that going to church means your living according to his will, but I view going to church as showing God that celebrating him is important.  In order to have a personal relationship with God you have to date him and just as people want to be loved publicly, God is the same way.  He wants more than to be loved behind closed doors, he wants you dressed up and looking your best to greet and praise him!   So church is like doing something special with God.  I know that may seem crazy, but hey…..

With that being said my voices are screaming:  In order to get back to Eden and live on top of the world, you have to praise him in advance & sacrifice for him as you want him to sacrifice for you!

Don’t live life with Gucci Taste, a BCBG Budget and give God based on a Rave Income!

or men

Don't live life with Saks Taste, a Macy's Budget and give God based on a Burlington Income!

You don't want God to cut back on your Blessings so why cut back on your Tithes?

I don’t know about yall, but I’m stomping my own toes with this one!

Until next time….

No Destination is Set in Stone

A few years ago I was blessed with a great job opportunity that I was very thankful for, it was great pay & great benefits. It allowed me to provide for myself, and my family in a way that I had only previously dreamed about.  It opened my mind to something greater than I ever imagined possible at my age and living in Louisiana.  In the beginning I tried to stay grounded and always give thanks for the blessing that I was experiencing with this job, but over time it was as if I forgot about what was truly important.  The longer I worked there, the more I lost sight of exactly how valuable that experience was.  I allowed the actions of others to overcome me and make me someone that I did not want to be.  I began to defend myself in ways that I never had before. When I started this job I was really mild mannered and didn’t say much unless it was absolutely necessary, before leaving this job I was very outspoken, but not necessarily in a good way.  There were many people who felt that I didn’t deserve the job and I took it upon myself to start voicing my opinion about how I deserved the job just as much as anyone else, because I had time in this field and education.  I can look back and realize now that this wasn’t a battle for me to fight and it wasn’t my place to say those things.  I was supposed to continue to give God the glory and let my blessings speak for themselves and allow others to interpret my blessings however they saw fit.

When I was laid off from this job I can honestly say I didn’t know what to feel.  I had so many emotions going on.  I was angry, hurt, disappointed, confused and lets not forget I was going to be broke! I couldn’t understand why God allowed me to lose my job and walk away with nothing.  Out of everyone there, why me? I re-evaluated that time of my life over and over again trying to figure out where I went wrong and I kept coming up short…until recently.  

I can now clearly see how that job lead to a dead end road. I took too many wrong turns and allowed the wrong scenery to catch my attention.  Its now obvious to me how that time in my life made me who I am now.  I am no longer a push over, but I now know when to speak.  I TRY not to fight my own battles, because they aren’t mine to fight. I’m more mindful about the people I trust and if I happen to trust someone that doesn’t deserve such an honor, I take it for what it is and move on. No explanation needed, no love lost.  I view it as another lesson… I have the understanding to review my mistakes and form a What-Not-To-Do-List…and believe me it comes in handy!

This is why I say, “my blessings were NOT a mistake and neither were my disappointments! God knows exactly what I need, in order to be who he wants me to be!” When it seems as if God has allowed your blessings to be taken away from you… he hasn’t. He allows things to happen to us, not to hurt us or stumble us, but to humble us and build us.  God will allow you to experience little blessings to test your growth…see, its up to you if those little blessings become major blessings.  It’s all about how you handle what you’re being given at that time.  Everyone’s life is mapped out, and on the map there are multiple destinations and multiple paths.  The paths you choose dictate your next stop in life and what happens along the way.  But, be mindful, because the pit stops you make in life have the power to adjust your destination.  No destination is set in stone; one wrong turn puts you on a completely different path!  

So today my voices are saying:  When things are going good in your life remember to give God thanks. Otherwise, God may give you a reason to call on him.

There is no such thing as a Final Destination…The journey of life is traveled along endless roads, full of possibilities!

Until Next Time…

Rise with the Sun

Every morning when I’m driving to work, there is the most beautiful scene that erects behind me. The sun. Every time I look in my rear view mirror I’m totally amazed. It doesn’t matter what happened the day before, the sun will still rise beautifully. For example, it stormed yesterday evening, but there it was, rising like nothing happened. That reminds me of how life should be. It doesn’t matter what happened in the past, the day before, an hour before; you should still rise beautifully as you did before it happened. So many times we allow circumstances and situations to allow us to stay down.

I truly believe that most situations that may seem bad initially, always work out for our good. If you look back on some “bad situations” you’ve had, you’ll probably see the same. Every day is a new day and brings us the chance to start over. So let’s mimic the sun and do our best to overcome any situation and never let anything keep us from rising.

Perseverance is one of the greatest qualities that one can embrace!

An EXTRAORDINARY life is the best life - Chantelle

When Who You Are isn't Right, They are the one that’s Wrong!

The Real Me

Will you ever see me for who I am?

For what I bring to the table?

INTELLIGENCE, STABILITY, STRENGTH

The Intelligence to make it in Corporate America and maintain my identity at the same time.

The Stability to assist in making our family prosperous and steadfast

The Strength to deal with my shortcomings as well as others and maintain a stable sense of pride in myself in the midst of it all.

Will you ever see me for who I am?

FORGIVING, LOYAL, PRAYERFUL

Forgiving enough to forgive you for your past and overlook mine in an effort to make this love last.

Loyal enough to travel through the storm of life and make a u-turn when I realize it’s a road I shouldn’t travel.

Prayerful enough to know when to get on my knees and pray for guidance and strength in my life

Will you ever see me for who I am?

APPRECIATIVE, DERSERVING, GIVING

Appreciative of all you do for me and my family.

Deserving of all that you give and more

Giving of all I have physically, emotionally, and materially

When will you allow my actions, words, and love to supersede what you have pre-conceived me to be?   WHEN? When will you see me for who I am?

I am Forgiver of your sins, Bearer of your children, Livelihood of your future!!

I am Beautiful, Captivating, and Witty!

BUT….WHEN WILL YOU SEE THAT?

Years ago this was a question that I always wanted to know the answer to. For some reason it really bothered me how others perceived me.  I wanted them to take me for what I showed them and not what they perceived me to be.  I can remember a time in my life when I wanted to prove my worth to others… I’m soooo glad that I’m passed that point in my life.  I now know that anyone that doesn’t see me for who I am is the person that has the problem…not me.  I am much more than a Diamond in the Ruff, I am a Rare Jewel… I am a Desert Flower, I am Complicated Simplicity at its Best!!

We as women need to realize that not everyone is going to treat us the way we deserve to be treated…but when this happens it doesn’t necessarily mean that there is a problem with us. It just means that God has not sent the man that is meant for you yet. When your mate has been sent by God, he will see things in you that you don’t even see in yourself. A God sent mate will build you up when you’re falling apart! He will bring the best out of you when others only see the worst! He will believe in you when you don’t believe in yourself! He will support you! He will protect you! And most importantly HE WILL MARRY YOU!

When Who You Are isn't Right, They are the one that’s Wrong!

When it’s truly meant to be, there won’t be any questions... only answers!

Only when things are forced will you have problems making them link together perfectly! Real Love is Easy!

In the words of Steve Harvey a Real Man will do the “3 P’s… PROTECT, PROFESS & PROVIDE!!"

Until Next Time….

Pleasure, Happiness & Joy

These are all sentiments or words that have been used to express people at one time or another.  I've noticed in life that people usually affiliate happiness with circumstances.   Happiness is often characterized by good luck or fortune.  Frequently used to describe a person's feelings when something good happens to them.  Happiness is also a feeling that some people use to describe a state of being when romantically involved, which is characterized by emotions.

Pleasure on the other hand, is used to describe a sense of enjoyment or satisfaction derived from what is to one's liking; gratification; delight. Pleasure is usually achieved with a worldly or frivolous enjoyment.  It is also defined as one's will, desire, or choice.

Joy is defined as the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying; keen pleasure; elation.   Intense and especially ecstatic or exultant happiness.

The more I pondered the three, I began to truly think about each words meaning and the antonyms of each.  The antonyms of happiness are- sad, unfortunate or unlucky.   The antonyms of pleasure are- anger, discontentment or resentment.  Whereas, the antonyms of joy are- misery, sorrow or grief.  While contemplating this information I decided to think about each and how they correlated to my life.   I began to realize that the moments of pleasure that I experienced were times that I was doing something that I had an interest in; such as an activity, hobby, or even eating… I can remember pleasure being easily replaced by resentment or anger.   So, I continued to scrutinize my life and was able to remember those times when happiness was what I felt.  I felt happiness at the high points in my life; such as a promotion at work, a new car, or a shopping spree. The moments of happiness gave greater fulfillment than the moments of pleasure, but still wasn't everlasting.   I was excited at the time for my good news, my nice clothes, my new car but I eventually became jaded with my position at work and tired of my clothes and wanted something different. Essentially the happiness lasted longer than pleasure but still faded momentarily.    As I continued thru this journey in my mind I approached  my life in the present tense and thought about the many trials and tribulations that I've been faced with daily but in spite of this a sense of peace within is felt.    It was at that moment I realized that what I now possess is Joy. 

It brought a smile upon my face as I realized that the words that I once thought could have been one in the same were very different.  The difference in the three words was clear; JOY IS A DEEPER LEVEL OF HAPPINESS!  Joy is something that you can hold in the midst of trials, that emits a sense of tranquility. Like the birth of a child, the love of a parent, the bond of a sibling! Pleasure and Happiness can be controlled by you or others BUT Joy is too powerful and permanent to be controlled by man! Joy can only be obtained through Christ.  I realized that by possessing Joy I have the strongest, purest emotion there is! When you possess Joy you experience happiness and pleasure to the 10^th power 

The Tears of Sadness, Misery, Sorrow and Resentment

were the Stepping Stones used to help me Appreciate and Cherish

the Minutes of Pleasures, Moments of Happiness and Eternity of Joy! 

" Joy is not in things, but in us. Joy is the feeling of grinning inside! "

So today my voices are asking:  Would you rather have one of the three...or the one that contains them all??  The Choice is Yours!!

Until Next Time…