What the Hell Am I Doing To Myself?!?!

I just celebrated my 36th Birthday a week ago.  Throughout my life I have learn many lessons, some voluntary...some involuntary. Those of you that know me personally, know that most times I can be honest to a fault.  I speak my truth the way I see it and I don't really care how it’s received most times.  I’m honest and verbal about my feelings toward people and situations. Often I say things and never think twice about it...once it’s spoken I forget about it.  But for some reason that didn't work today.  I had a conversation with my parents that kept playing in my mind and as I evaluated our conversation and my responses it dawned on me “What the Hell am I doing to myself?!?!?!”  I realized the extent of the amount of resentment I held inside of me...knowingly and I was appalled. See, I was aware and chose to hold on to the resentment and all the pain of my past. In some sad way I felt it was justified and needed to make me strong. Then I started thinking:

How does holding on to the pain really help my life?
Is the anger causing me to miss a blessing?
Is my need for justification in this life greater than my need of God’s Mercy?
How do I benefit from being unforgiving?
After all of these unanswered questions, many tears and lots of prayers I decided to go to church.  I did NOT leave the same way I walked in... I visited a church today called Victorious Life and that’s exactly how I’m feeling right now!  Every question I had was answered and confirmation was given.

The anger, resentment and unforgiveness WAS holding me back because my heart wasn’t fully clean. I had specks of dirt that may have started off as dust that I allowed to continuously build up and form something deep rooted in my soul. I learned at church today that if you don’t put an end to evil things when you see them forming you give them the power to multiply and strengthen. But what the devil didn’t count on is I also learned how to open myself up and give it all to Jesus. I prayed and asked the Lord to forgive me for my wrongdoings, my mistakes and my bad thoughts.  I also prayed FOR people who have done me wrong by name...TAKE NOTE I SAID PRAYED FOR NOT ON! There’s a big difference. I prayed that they be Blessed, Happy and Prosperous...something I NEVER thought I would pray for someone that I feel caused me so much pain.  But guess what...I walked out of church feeling so light I think I was floating!

You see, the last month has been spent praying more than usual seeking answers, peace and resolution, but I kept coming up empty or so I thought. While I was busy being discouraged, God was working behind the scenes making sure that when he answered my prayers I would hear him loud and clear!

Today my voices are speaking words of Thankfulness. My words and thoughts are free from regret, anger and hatred. I have handed it all to God and together we will uproot the negativity I allowed to be planted within me. I can now look forward to my life and enjoy the many blessings that God wants to bestow upon me that I was blocking with my stubbornness.


2 Corinthians 10:3-4  For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds

Until Next Time...  

Demolition

In life you will encounter many types of people.  There are people who you will meet who want to destroy and some who will want to build.  The process of both is so strategic, it is hard to notice which is which at times. Usually the people that try to destroy you are those closest to you. The destroying can be of your character, your reputation, your spirit, your hope, your positivity and so on.  It is usually people whom you trust and love. 

Demolition is the tearing down of structures.  The process of demolishing consists of pulling down either manually or mechanically.  The preparation and finalization for demolition is a long process, it takes months and sometimes years to prepare for (negative people will eat away at you for as long as it takes for them to conquer your mind).  All items of value have to be stripped from the property (they will steal joy, dreams and confidence).   The goal is to use as little explosives as possible; only to destroy a few layers so that it is safer. It’s viewed as demolishing the structure down to a certain manageable height (they take away enough for you to be lost but leave enough for them to be able to mold you into what they want you to become).

When a building fails to collapse completely in the demolition process it will leave the structure unstable, tilting at a dangerous angle, and filled with un-detonated but still primed explosives, making it difficult to be approached safely (which is parallel to a person trying to break someone down and not succeeding completely, the attacked person still has strength but may have lost a little hope… which makes it hard for the mistreated person to trust other people in life because of past experiences).

Now that I have described the demolition process I need you to evaluate your life and your circumstances and see if the above situation correlates to your life.  If so, it’s time to pull out that notebook because you may need to make a few notes…make sure to date the page for future reference.

1.       Identify the negative factor(s) in your life

2.       Identify the person aiding in this problem (note I said aiding because we each play a part in how we allow ourselves to be treated)

3.       Identify situations that have caused you to feel defeated, depleted and destroyed and remember how these things made you feel

4.       Use those feelings as fuel to fight for a better life. (I do not mean fight literally but you will experience an internal battle of the known and unknown)

5.       Write down experiences and feelings that you do not want to repeat (this will help you identify what you are willing to accept out of life)

Now that you have identified the problem, people and or situation that is halting your happiness it’s time to take a stand.  Say no to situations and people that make you go against what you feel you deserve and if they cannot adjust for the betterment of your life, remove yourself from these people and or situations.  DO NOT CONTINUE to allow these things to have an adverse effect on you.   Work through the pain to obtain the end result of peace.  It’s going to be hard, you’re going to cry, you’re going to have doubts, you’re going to be angry; but DON’T GIVE UP!  Everything is a process, it took time to get to where you are and it will take time to heal past it, but it’s possible and it will be worth it!

Isaiah 41:10 - So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Introduction to Journey to Self

One of the questions I get a lot is when I’m going to write a book, and over the years it has become a dream of mine.  I finally decided that I wanted my first book to be an inspirational book about healing and moving on past the hurt.  But since then, it has been put on my heart that my ultimate goal is to help people… so I have decided to post the information on my blog for free that way healing isn’t limited to those that can purchase my book.  This is not to say that eventually I will not write a book…just not right now.  So if you find this information useful I ask that you share my link and join my site to spread the word.   

The first step in this process is to get a notebook and write on it Journey to Self.  This notebook will be dedicated to your journey of becoming a better you.  This will be the first of many tasks to help bring you to a better place in life. 

Task 1 – The Time is Now… It’s Your Decision

I would like to thank you for visiting my site.  Before beginning a few things must be accomplished.

1.      You must realize there is a problem

2.      You must realize it is time to solve that problem

3.      You must realize you can NOT solve that problem on your own or with the help of friends, family and counseling

4.      You are ready to put forth the effort and time that is required to make the changes that are needed to make you a better person overall

5.      You are willing to release any and everything that stops you from achieving these things. 

Take note before preceding that all requirements begin with YOU! Not your wife, your husband, girlfriend/boyfriend, your child, your mother, your friend or your enemy…it begins with YOU! You have to decide that you are ready to change.  You have to decide that you have been in a rut far too long and that you are ready to take control of your destiny and align it with God’s calling for your life. God’s plan for your life is dependent on the decisions that you make, only he knows your full potential and the only way to reach that potential is by making the right decisions. It’s just that simple.  Ultimately you have the final say in how you react to situations. God can lead you but YOU have to choose to follow him in order to reach where he is taking you.

If you are weak and ready to be strong… CONTINUE

If you had a close relationship with God and somehow lost your way… CONTINUE

If you want to enhance your mind spiritually…CONTINUE

If after reading all the above information you are more offended than intrigued or excited… YOU DEFINITELY NEED TO CONTINUE

Philippians 4:13 – I can do all things through CHRIST which strengthened me.

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Natasha Thomas is a person that has a firm belief in Improvement and it is one of her favorite words, because there is always room for improvement, regardless of the subject at hand. The last few years of her life have been a self-growth journey and she is always looking for ways to improve herself as a whole. The Message Behind the Voices is not about her professing to be perfect or a preacher…it’s simply about her travels along her Journey to Self. Writing about things near and dear to her is her way of sowing… She opens herself up, by peeling away the layers one word at a time. She shares her personal experiences in hopes that it can affect others in a positive way. Spread the Word and sign up at  http://TheMessageBehindTheVoices.blogspot.com/

Rise with the Sun

Every morning when I’m driving to work, there is the most beautiful scene that erects behind me. The sun. Every time I look in my rear view mirror I’m totally amazed. It doesn’t matter what happened the day before, the sun will still rise beautifully. For example, it stormed yesterday evening, but there it was, rising like nothing happened. That reminds me of how life should be. It doesn’t matter what happened in the past, the day before, an hour before; you should still rise beautifully as you did before it happened. So many times we allow circumstances and situations to allow us to stay down.

I truly believe that most situations that may seem bad initially, always work out for our good. If you look back on some “bad situations” you’ve had, you’ll probably see the same. Every day is a new day and brings us the chance to start over. So let’s mimic the sun and do our best to overcome any situation and never let anything keep us from rising.

Perseverance is one of the greatest qualities that one can embrace!

An EXTRAORDINARY life is the best life - Chantelle